I have always spoiled my mother on every mother’s day for the past five years that I have been employed. But this year has been financially tough – especially after my wedding last month. I do not want her to think that my new wife has anything to do with me not buying her anything; I am just so damn broke. How can I tell her not to expect anything from me this year? – Daddy Patrick
Dear Daddy Patrick
Your mother is lucky to have such a thoughtful son! I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to tell her that she should not expect anything from you this year. This might make her feel as though she has been demanding the gifts all these past years. Besides, it is not like you have told her to expect something each time you have bought something for her.
But now that it has become a tradition you are right to think that she may be expecting something.
So your going silent about it will be wrong. It’s a difficult one, because telling her point blank not to expect something could be a bit rude. What I suggest is that you try and spend at least the day with her, you can visit her with your wife and prepare a meal for her.
Mothers do understand that things are not always rosy for their children and what matters most is the precious time you spend with them. In fact, most mothers would much prefer time with their children rather than fancy gifts.
Encourage a friendship relationship between your wife and your mother is also important, so that whatever changes come she will not suspect that it is anything to do with her daughter-in-law. You also need to explain to your wife how close you are with your mother so that she learns to accommodate her in her life and avoid the friction that Tinashe above is facing.
Always remember that your mum loves you – and honesty is always the best policy. So you might also want to whisper to your mum at some stage during the day something like this: “Sorry I have no gift for you this year mum – things are a bit tight at the moment. But you know I’ll always love you!” – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle